Canary to Phoenix
Environmental Illness and Non-duality
Category: Uncategorized
Ikigai and the Adobe Tiny House
I have come to a place of peace about the illness that collapsed my life. I learned so much about being alive. I have a capacity for joy and deep knowing now that I am not what happens to me; I am life itself.… Continue Reading “Ikigai and the Adobe Tiny House”
Rocking my Sensitivity
Listen. I love you like a brother. That means the delusion of separation has dissolved. I feel you from the inside now. So can we discuss this freak out you had when I reacted to you? You know how sensitive I am. You watch… Continue Reading “Rocking my Sensitivity”
The Clusterfuck of Doublebinds
If you are a mold avoider, this phrase explains itself. There can be fifty catch-22s happening in your struggle for survival on any given day. The very first one– once you suspect the problem is mold– is that you want nothing more than to… Continue Reading “The Clusterfuck of Doublebinds”
Open Letter to Merlin Sheldrake
Dear Merlin Sheldrake, At the opening of the chapter on Radical Mycology in your new book Entangled Life: How Fungi Make Our Worlds, Change Our Minds & Shape our Futures, your naked body is immersed in a mound of decomposing wood chips. I yelped… Continue Reading “Open Letter to Merlin Sheldrake”
Ego Is A Vampire
I have no interest in defending the identity of the chronically ill. Illness has a way of strengthening identity because anything that threatens your existence tends to make your ego do push ups. But strengthening the “I’m sick” identity will not facilitate healing. Here… Continue Reading “Ego Is A Vampire”
Celebrating a fallen MCS queen
Environmental illness can be challenging in a way that is hard for others to relate to. Especially when one becomes reactive to the ubiquitous chemicals in modern life, there is a terrifying loss of safe spaces, over and over. This is traumatizing. When people… Continue Reading “Celebrating a fallen MCS queen”
The Big Picture
“Whether you can observe a thing or not depends on the theory you use. It is the theory that decides what can be observed.” — Albert Einstein First, it is important to remember that none of this is personal. Although it feels personal because… Continue Reading “The Big Picture”
The Gift of Chronic Illness
Imagine a happily married person who comes home one day to find that their beloved spouse has disappeared, emptied their house and swept all the bank accounts clean without even saying goodbye. Imagine that moment of sickening realization, when everything they had thought was… Continue Reading “The Gift of Chronic Illness”
Breakthroughs
Last month, in January 2021, five years after I got sick, I had this conversation with my dad; Dad: “I wasn’t always sure you were going to make it, if I’m being honest.” Me: “Yeah, I wasn’t sure either. But the fact that we… Continue Reading “Breakthroughs”
The Spiritual Opportunity of Being Sick
It is hard to explain. Like many difficult things in life, people can’t relate to this unless they have been through it themselves. But having your life completely fall apart could turn out to be one of the greatest things that ever happened to… Continue Reading “The Spiritual Opportunity of Being Sick”
My Book Review of The Sensitives by Oliver Broudy
Oliver Broudy’s new book is part travelogue and part history lesson, with a splash of epistemology. “How do we know what we know?” and “why are we so damn sure?” Broudy is an agnostic, healthy, science-minded freelance writer who just got curious enough to… Continue Reading “My Book Review of The Sensitives by Oliver Broudy”
Decon Pro-Tips from a Bubble Girl
Lots of my older friends and my parents are now having to contend with a new fear of the microbial world due to the Coronavirus pandemic. Having lived for years myself with decontamination protocols that have been necessary because of an impaired immune system,… Continue Reading “Decon Pro-Tips from a Bubble Girl”
The Collapse of Safe Space
Yesterday I went to the center where I meet with my spiritual community every Sunday. This has been a place of exquisite refuge for me. I have built each week around having the energy and resources to get here because it has become so… Continue Reading “The Collapse of Safe Space”
Reversing Cognitive Decline
A some point, after relinquishing control over the direction my life was going, I was brought to this place. It’s a clean place, an old adobe guesthouse that I am able to live inside. After being forced to camp over two high desert winters,… Continue Reading “Reversing Cognitive Decline”
The Return
I have been back in Maine almost four months now. I was describing it to Stevan yesterday as feeling like being on a prolonged SCUBA dive. Apart from the dramatic physical and emotional ups and downs, it feels like I am constantly under pressure–… Continue Reading “The Return”
The Importance of the Clean-Break
When practicing an extreme-avoidance-protocol, mastering the art of the “clean-break” can offer crucial boosts in your healing. When detoxifying from an environmental illness, your body can go through a phase of hyper-reactivity where tinier and tinier amounts of environmental toxins can initiate a large… Continue Reading “The Importance of the Clean-Break”
Illness as a Path to Awakening
“An illness has enormous capacity to pull you into greater unconsciousness and it has an even greater capacity to awaken you.” —-Eckhart Tolle When I was 45 years old, my life burned to the ground. I became… Continue Reading “Illness as a Path to Awakening”
Things That Have Helped Me
Hiring a coach to get started on the mold sabbatical. Sara Riley Mattson, the author of Camp Like a Girl, was the role model who made me believe I could take my life back. Finding mentors and allies in person and limiting my… Continue Reading “Things That Have Helped Me”
Retraining the Brain
I have been assiduously following mold avoidance, and it is clearly crucial. However, I am still hyper-reactive long after I have finished detoxing from the initial toxic overload. It’s time to start researching which of the brain retaining programs I am going to delve… Continue Reading “Retraining the Brain”
Resources for Healing
A nutritional approach is crucial. Detoxification is often impaired at the time of some toxic exposure. Everyone’s presentation seems to be quite individual, yet clean, wholesome food is a universal need. Many people deal with an impaired intestinal lining, or “Leaky Gut Syndrome.” It’s… Continue Reading “Resources for Healing”
Canary to Phoenix 